Y2K Caliche Times Vol. 3 No. 1 1-1-2000
We made it through the night and no disasters here in Okra, Texas as far as I can tell. It didn't rain, snow, hail, burn, no earthquakes, no computers bogged down or anything. Our truck, computer, Internet, microwave, toaster, and alarm still work. The earth still exists today. I know some folks are disappointed about civilization not ending as we know it today. The truth is none of us or anything around us, especially technology, will ever be the same again. But from my front window, the earth looks a whole lot like it did yesterday morning even though it warmed up ten degrees during the night.
So we start the New Year with cows that think they are hungry, grandkids that couldn’t possibly be hungry and my wife still remembering things I didn't get done last year. I was hoping we could forget a few things that aren't perfect, especially if they are things that are on my side of the line that we have drawn in the sand. Time seems to be working in my favor though, each day that passes I have a little more trouble remembering yesterday’s list of things that I put off to do until today and I have already forgotten where the list is for tomorrow.
We have all our family here for a late Christmas this weekend. Several members of our family have to go back to work at school again on Monday, so if you have a chance, you might say a prayer for them. Just don’t tell anybody you prayed for anything related to school, you might get into trouble. The ghosts of Madeline Murray O’Hair are still with us you know.
Monday, I will go back to work paying bills, feeding cows, and record keeping. I am sure there will be some house cleaning to do too. Lou Jane said if I could just keep the house clean and have the meals ready when she gets in from work, my retirement would be more ideal from her point of view. I personally think my cousin Katherine has the right idea when she sent an email stating last night that they were observing New Year’s Eve by Gene (her husband) napping while she watched out the window for any developing disasters. If a disaster develops she can always wake Gene and he will spring into action and defend his TV chair or his family. This leaves Gene in the position of being seen as a hero when the going really gets tough.
Can you imagine just now being born into this world today? Just think of all the things that parents and teachers have lined up for children to learn. Someone offered to sell me an encyclopedia on the Internet the other day for $7.50 plus shipping and I decided to buy it. When I started teaching in San Antonio in 1961 someone offered to sell me a set of encyclopedias for $300 plus shipping and I bought it. I never did get everything looked up in the 1961 version. Now maybe that all 30 books are on a CD I will find the convenience so great that I will look up a lot of things.
I am really looking forward to wearing a Y2K - CD wrist watch that plays my favorite music CDs, picks up my email by satellite and allows me to play free lotto while I check my global positioning unit to see where I am in the cow pasture. I also want to be able to check my wristwatch screen to identify each cow by an implanted ID chip. I won’t have to spend $2.00 a cow to just have numbered ear tags anymore. As I see it this is a big improvement on cow chips. I am going to wait a few more years and have a contact lens computer chip implanted to help me see better, especially at night. When my dog barks at night, I want to see what he is barking at. Why should I have to go look for a useable flashlight just to see what Sinbad the Chowdog finds interesting in the dark. Who wants to keep buying 6V batteries that weigh 2 pounds apiece and paying two prices for them anyway. After all, the batteries that landed on Mars the other day probably didn’t even weigh that much. Well, they didn’t work either. I think next time I will offer NASA some of my old batteries. It’s time to recycle mine and save taxpayers a few dollars. Mars may be just the place to get rid of a few items. NASA has already started a collection of little toy robots and things that dig holes there. They could have tested those little robots right here on our place to see if they could find any moisture. You know, the good antique trader should be trying to catch a ride to Mars to collect a few of the goodies left there by NASA. Can you imagine how much the bids would be on Ebay if you could sell the cute little Mars tractor on the Internet?
Y’all come to see us if you can find us. Just look for the cutting edge of culture and technology we live right there.